My New, Wicked Excellent Bed
I have another new wonderful thing! I finally have a bed that’s worthy of my magnificence! It’s big enough for my manly self – I can stretch out in it, I can curl up in it, I can curl up and stretch out an elegant paw and my tail at the same time - I can get wicked comfy. I could even ask someone to share it with me.
(DON’T get any bright ideas, there, Ms. Bossypants, I said I could invite someone to share, not that I’m going to. I don’t need a room-mate and will deal with any you try to foist on me with extreme prejudice.
Fair warning. And keep that new guy away from my bed – he looks like he’s thinking of borrowing it to take a nap. NOT allowed!)
Oh, my bed, my bed, my new wonderful bed! No more cardboard boxes --- well, maybe a few, they’re pretty interesting, after all, and you never know, there could be a mousie in them --- but they aren’t real beds, just hidey-holes. My bed’s a great place to snooze through winter cabin-fever. My bed’s big enough for all my toy mousies, and even my tool, if only my servants – that is, the highly-trained veterinary practitioners here in my castle – uh, clinic – would give it back to me. For some reason they insist on keeping it in a secret place, ever since I tried to zap the maurauding Jolly Old St. Bernard at the end of last year. They’re also hiding my bag of catnip. They say I can’t have either anymore, unless they’re supervising. You’d think they’d be happy that I was guarding the place and not get all snippy about what happened. I really don’t understand servants.
That’s ok, eventually the ladies will get distracted and I’ll steal my tool and catnip back. And a fresh bag of Greenies, for a pillow. I’ll be able to hide them in my magnificent big bed, which I’m currently lining with fur. This is an excellent time of year to get a new bed, because it’s shedding season, and it takes awhile to fully fur a new bed, which not only makes it even more comfortable, but it warns off strangers – this is my bed, the handsome white Lou bed, and no one else’s! Got that, New Guy?
I think a light carpeting of dried, finely-ground catnip would make a fine addition to my new bed, and ensure excellent dreams. I’m going to have to work on that. They tell me we’re only part-way through the cold nasty season, but that some strange brown critter in a top hat is due to show up in a few days to tell us how long it’s going to last. Apparently if he bites the human who hauls him out of bed, we all get to go back to bed and take a nice, long, nap. Don’t try to haul me out of bed, servants, I can tell you right now what will happen! Unless it’s for a meal, that is. Then I’ll bite the food.
In the meantime, I’m going to stroll to my basket to see if any of my fans have left treats there for me, and then I’m headed back to my lovely bed. I noticed some white stuff is falling out of the sky, making a fluffy soft bed...snzzz...white fluffy fur bed...zzzzz, snzzz...white fur falling into a soft comfy bed...