• Lou

Lou on Equipment

Updated: Jun 15, 2018

Soothing my Qi and adjusting my spine after a disturbing break in Total Harmony.

"Soothing my Qi and adjusting my spine after a disturbing break in Total Harmony."

Dear Humans,

I am seriously fluffed.

Someone left this truly horrible flyer near my most favorite meditation spot the other day, and I was so completely hissed off I couldn’t immediately get into my Purrfect place. Not until I took action, that is.

See, there’s this other---cat---who thinks of himself as a Lord of the Universe, and he’s sent out these really terrible flyers with his big puss all over them, offering to teach humans how to reach Catman nirvana. Ugh. What a bozo.

I mean, really, I know this guy! He had the bad manners when he was here, one day – in my home – to stroll into the bathroom and use my litter box! Mine! Without even a please may I or If you don’t mind! Like he owned the joint!

I cannot tell you how upsetting that was. I didn’t purr for a week. And I insisted my servants – uh, the staff here at the clinic– completely disinfect and deodorize my facilities. Immediately.

So you can imagine how I felt when I found this mutt’s mug plastered all over the front of a brochure, pretending to be all literate and educated. Puh-leeze! That dude reads nothing but tacky super-hero comics, and he’s a legend in his own mind.

I found myself walking around growling and spitting and fluffing my tail whenever I thought about it. So I decided to turn his flyer into a piece of modern art, and I feel much better ever since.

Can you believe it? The dude sent one of his servants over with a pot of catnip to try to appease me. Like I can be bought that easily!

After I ate the catnip – no point in wasting it, and it was very delicious - I took myself off to do some serious self-care. When the servants aren’t around, I use one of the pieces of equipment they clutter up my space with to do some Qi-settling catupressure. Here is an excellent picture of me doing some excellent catupressure and neck adjustment. When the servants are away, the Cat will use their stuff.

Someone, bring more catnip, now! It’s going to take me awhile to recover from this latest offense. Treats would help, too. I figure a week or two of extra coddling will bring me around to my usual, tolerant self.

In True Lordliness,

Lou

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